Cause ya had a bad day... Ya had a bad day.
Nothing about today went wrong or was in itself bad, but as the day progressed I felt myself becoming more and more depressed. At this time last year, it took me several weeks to realize that my constant bad attitude, complete lack of energy, unexplained feelings of anxiety and zero desire to accomplish anything was likely related to my being depressed. When I started to feel that way again today, I put myself on code red alert and tried to combat the all consuming emotions associated with depression: loneliness and despair.
I felt even lower when after calling out for help, those closest to me didn't respond. I don't expect my friends to drop what ever they're doing because I'm having a bad day, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. Fortunately a phone call to my mom and some hard work at the gym was enough to get me out of my funk. After 45 grueling minutes on the rotating stair machine (at level 8!), I felt like I was back to my happy upbeat self. God bless the power of exercise! Life would have been much better last winter if I had found peace on the treadmill and on the yoga mat instead of hiding on the couch.
I'm not sure what brought on the feelings of sadness today. I definitely don't care for the cold and darkness of winter and law school will NEVER be something I think of fondly, but there really was no trigger or event that caused me to feel down.
If there is any silver lining to this day, it's that I was able to quickly recognize what I was experiencing so that I could proactively work to change it. I've got WAY to much to be excited about and to work towards to waste any time feeling depressed.
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